As time goes..

I cant say I would of seen myself here 2 years ago and definatley not 3 years ago, things arent ever perfect but their good. My boys are healthy. My amazing son, he's now 5 years old and in kindergarten. At times I look at him and realize it's actually been 5 years when it seems just the day before I was in the hospital holding him, why does time seem it passes us up.sometimes?? My munchkin will officially be 4 years old in less then 2 days! Where has time gone? They are my sunshine on rainy days, my burst of energy when i feel weak and my smile when I'm done. My relationship strives and I'm happy. I still find myself shocked its been over 2 years now. He amazes me in ways I never knew and sometimes it seems were complete opposites other times it feels like we've been like this forever.. I can never stay mad for long somehow he always gets me to crack a smile, he's there even when i push for him not to be, when I'm stubborn and I just want to do things on my own, he shows me I dont have to. And in that moment I realize he's not going any where and in that moment my wall comes down a few bricks at a time, enough for his love and persistanceness to seeo through the gaps like a warm summer breeze, I know without a doubt I love this stubborn man, I've recently stopped talking to my family, one of the few hardest things I've ever done anybody who know's me would know I'm one of those people who keep giving chance after chance because I always have this ray of hope that deep down everybody can change and that eventually they will, but we can only hope so much right?! There's always that glimmer you wanna hold onto tight as you can as much as it hurts you don't want to let go cause as sweet as the release would be it means you've given up, and thats the last thing you want to accept defeat. I guess some people just have to realize you win some battles and some you simply have to shut the door to and modestly make a silent plea to your self to not look back as much as you want to, cause in that moment it's easier to let yourself feel pain others cause then to accept you deserve better and aim for it. I'm not a perfect girl I'm far from it. I make mistakes just like the rest of you, After all were all only human, right?!..